Connor and Jack loved to play at the beach.  It didn't matter if it was raining, cold and windy or hot the boys always tried to get to the beach as early in the day as possible and stay as late into the evening as we would allow.  They were always unhappy about leaving.  They even enjoyed visiting the beach in the middle of the winter to see how large the waves would get.  Connor was a creature of habit and he would often ask us to play a certain CD in Mom's car as we drove home from the beach.  Connor, Jack and Kate would sing along to the music as the sun went down.  I can remember thinking about how lucky we were.  I can remember thinking that I hope we would always be together.

 Jack & Connor caught Spider Crabs.  They would always return any creatures that they found to the water so that they would grow larger and have an opportunity to catch them a different day.  They loved to catch crabs with their hands, fish (minnows) with their minnow catcher and shrimp with their nets.  Connor would tie his bucket to his board and then search the ocean floor for sea life.  He spent hours walking around and loved displaying what he found to all of us.

Stories from Dappa

About 1 1/2 years ago while Connor was at the Cape he was helping me with my yard chores as usual. I was attempting to start my gasoline powered hedge trimmer without much success. As I kept pulling the cord and the machine refused to start Connor leaned over, pointed to the plastic bubble and said "Dup, you didn't press that button". Sure enough I had not pressed "that button" to prime the engine.  I pressed "that button" and off we went to trim the bushes. Connor with my hard hat on along with the ear muffs and face mask as he stood back to observe the work.

Mrs. Judi Beaudry, Connor's First Grade teacher, who we share a special bond with sent us these precious stories about Connor.  Thank you Judi!

One day Connor brought a map to school and he wanted me to hang it in the classroom.  I could tell that he looked at it often because it was ripped and worn.  I asked him if I could tape it and laminate it so that it would not get further damage.  He said it was OK. I hung it on the back of the door and at that time Connor was sitting in the seat closest to the door.  Every now and then I’d catch him taking a peek at it.

(He told me that he wanted it back at the end of the year.  I forgot to give it to him on the last day of school and then I thought I’d give it to him in September.  Sometimes a lapse in memory can be a good thing.  I hope that you don’t mind that I keep this precious memory of Connor.  It is something that I’ll always treasure.)

As a positive reinforcement of Connor’s good behavior  in school, I would put a “Smiley” sticker on the note that was sent home everyday.  One day he told me that he could see when I put the sticker in the notebook.  He wanted to be able to open the book and find the sticker himself.  So after that day, I had to sneak the stickers in the book when Connor was not looking.

Connor was always dressed perfectly.  His hair was (on entry to school) perfectly combed.  I started to notice that he was playing with his hair.  I questioned him about it and he said his dad put too much gel in it.  I told him that maybe he should let his father know this.  I later discovered that it was a nervous habit.

Connor often finished his reading worksheets before other children.  He needed something to keep his hands occupied.  We decided to make “Cheerios” bird-feeders.  He loved making these.  He would show the other children in the class how to complete them.  We hung them on the trees outside our room.

One day I noticed  Connor cutting his erasers that go on top of his pencils.  He collected the pieces in his toolbox. I asked him what he was going to do with them.  He said that he was making bracelets for his mom.  I thought it was a nice idea.  I let him do it.

Between classes and before we started our day, Connor often needed to keep busy.  I often saw him stacking his pencils.  He did a good job.  The other children were very impressed at how high  Connor could stack them.  I let him do it.  He was very good about putting them away when he was told.

                                             CONNOR STORIES and Random Remembrances

   March 11, 2008

     From Dup

 These are mostly short thoughts/remembrances of Connor, things he said, the smiles especially at things/games that were somewhat a tradition.

 Connors Fire Engine (ladder truck)

 During our visits to North Andover, most of which were connected to JF visits Connor and I played a game with his fire truck. This game came to include, over time, every toy car and truck garaged in the family room.

 Connor was the fireman and in charge of the large fire truck. I was the policeman. The fire engine started out from inside the large playhouse (the fire station) but quickly moved to the side of the playhouse since they playhouse was filled with assorted toys.

 I had multiple jobs in this game. My primary job was to notify the fire station of a fire. I then had to be “Mr. Policeman” and direct all traffic to make way for the speeding fire engine. This also entailed speaking sternly to all drivers who did not make way for the fire engine (all drivers and vehicles at this point were “pretend” except the fire engine).

 Mr. Fireman and the fire engine would arrive at the fire which in some cases was in the play house. For some fires Mr. Fireman had to enter the playhouse to douse the fire and in some cases had to climb onto the roof. All the while I was still directing traffic and issuing instructions to bystanders.

 Over time this game expanded into the fire engine getting flat tires on the way to the fire. The standard notification to me of a flat tire was “Oh no Duppa, guess what. Me, what? Connor, “Big Problem, the fire engine has a flat tire.” Now my job turned into calling a tow truck and Connor’s job became the tow truck operator.

 As the weeks rolled along, Connor being Connor this game grew larger. The “Big Problems” got bigger. The tow truck would get a flat tire on the way to help the fire engine. Later on the backup tow truck would get a flat, etc., etc….. Until we had multiple vehicles with flats.

 Other vehicles would develop engine problems. All mishaps were reported to me as “guess what- BIG PROBLEM”.

 One of the things I remember about this whole routine was the smile on Connor’s face as he reported “BIG PROBLEM”.

 Connor never tired of this game. I always attribute his fondness for the fire engine game as one of his/our little traditions. Connor so loved traditions.

Lighting a fire in the fireplace

 The Ciesielski’s liked to have a fire in their fireplace. When Connor was at our house he always asked to have a fire. I always obliged (except when the outdoor temperature was in the 80’s).

 One night as I was about to light a newspapers page to warm the flue I received a flue warming lesson. “Dup, that’s not how you do that”. My response, “this is how I do it. How do you do it?” Where upon Connor proceeded to role up a newspaper page into a cone shape and said, “Now you hold this up into the chimney and light it. Of course I asked the question to which I knew the answer. “How did you learn to do that”? The response “My Daddy showed me”.

 Beach thoughts

 I always thought that Connor enjoyed talking to and interacting with us older folk.

 Watching Connor go about his playing and exploring at the beach one could easily sense that he loved the beach and everything about it including “old people”.

 There were times when he would approach our friends (fellow old people) with a polite request such as “Bob would you come in the water with me”? Sure Bob would respond, lift himself out of his chair onto his bad knees and go down to the water with Connor (Bob is in his late 70’s). Or, “Herb, will you pull me on my board”. Off Herb and Connor would go. Or, “Big Jim, can you take Jack and me to the rocks to look for crabs”? Off they would go for a couple of hours.

 Connor had a special way about him with people.

 Car seat

 When Connor was very young I always had a very difficult time with one particular car seat. Connor would climb in, I would adjust the belts then the fun began trying to fit the buckles together. I would say “this is a pain in the neck”. Thereafter every time I struggled with this seat Connor would say “This is a pain in the neck”.

 Jimmy Fund Clinic

 During lulls in the action at The Jimmy Fund Clinic Connor and I would wonder around the hall and connecting bridges while Lisa (Mom) would chat with various people. When Connor was very young (towards the beginning of his treatment) he would press all the buttons of the various elevators. The first couple of times I told him to stop and mentioned in adult talk that people would be inconvenienced but, after the second or third visit  I got to thinking about the circumstances and said to myself, who cares, if he wants to push buttons let him. This will be the first time Mommy and Daddy heard this story.

I believe there were seven or eight bridges connecting the hospitals. We crossed all of them on each visit, checking out the outdoor action. We assigned consecutive numbers to each bridge and referred to them by number. As we crossed each bridge I would askConnor the number of the bridge and of course he always gave the correct number. On some weeks I would not ask him for a bridge number until we had gone by a few. He still came up with the correct number (he was somewhere between 2-3 years old at the time.

 We spent a fair amount of time watching construction from bridges 2 and 3. One morning there wasn’t much activity and Connor asked. “Where is everybody”? I said that it was probably coffee break time. From then on every time we saw little activity Connor would immediately say “oh no coffee break time again”, with that smile on his face.

 Of course while watching the construction there were dozens of questions, why is he doing that, why did that dump truck dump stones over there, what is that machine, how does the cement truck make cement, etc., etc.,……..

 During our walks Connor would walk/run ahead but each time he got 12-15 feet away he always stopped to look back to be sure I was there and then wait for me to catch up before continuing.

 Usually Lisa would call us on the cell phone to tell us it was time for the next procedure. Invariably about half way back Connor would stop and ask “Duppa will you carry me”, which I did. On the way back while I was carrying him he would spontaneously give me a big hug. Connor was always affectionate. But I wonder if part of that hug which I loved and my carrying him was in anticipation of the next treatment.

 Connor’s Rake

 During early 2007 Nanny bought Connor and Jack each a rake.

 One day I believe it was early spring after the boys used their new rakes to tidy up around my shed I suggested that they take their rakes home so that they would be handy for future use. That was ok with Jack. Connor wanted to keep his rake in my shed. I suggested that if the rake was in his garage he would always have it in case I wasn’t around. Very politely he said “I want to keep my rake in your shed. Can you hang it up for me”?

 The rake is hanging in my shed where it will stay forever.

 Shaving

 Not sure how old Connor was at the time, he was pretty young. Connor was at our house and came into the bathroom while I was shaving. He told me that he had a razor at his house and that he used it in the bath tub. I explained that you have to be very careful with razors because they are very sharp and can cut you. He then said “my razor is just a pretend razor”.

 I tend to shave very fast. Ever since our first conversation about razors, over the years whenever Connor came into the bathroom while I was shaving he would watch for a minute and then with great seriousness he would say “Dup you are not being very careful shaving. Razors are very sharp”.

 The Sign

 About the time when Connor was four years old I had put down some new bark mulch around the shed. I mentioned to Connor that I hoped people did not walk on my new mulch. Connor decided that a sign had to be made. He asked if we could go down to the basement to make a sign. Rummaging around we came up with a piece of 1/16 inch plywood for the sign portion and a 1x5 inch piece of pine for the post. Connor pounded a couple of nails through the plywood into the post with a rubber mallet (at his age I didn’t think a heavy hammer was a good idea). Now he needed words. Connor asked if I would write on the sign. Connor dictated and I wrote,

“DON’T STEP IN

BARK MULCH IN

BACK OF DAPPY’S

SHED”

 THANK YOU,

 CONNOR

Connor brought a lot of laughter and happiness to my life.  Here are some stories that I treasure.

When Connor was about a year and a half old Mike and I were visiting him in his first home in New Hampshire.  Everyone was busy in the kitchen getting ready for dinner except me and Connor.  I had brought him some stickers and somehow we came up with the idea of sticking them on the backs (or bottoms as that is all he could reach) of everyone in the kitchen.  Connor would pick a sticker, I would help him peel it off the wrapper and he'd decide who to stick it on.  Connor would do his job and rush back to me for another sticker his face beaming.  I was laughing so hard.  To me it was simply precious that he found such fun in this game and yet nobody seemed to notice what we were doing!

On Christmas Day 2001 we were all down the Cape.  Connor was in the kitchen and was playing a game opening and closing the French doors that lead into the family room.  So I got up and smushed my face on the window at him trying to get him to laugh.   He smiled but then decided that he wanted to be the funny one and began smushing his little face up against the glass.  It was hilarious to see his little face matted down on the glass and then his smile as he pulled it away and saw the laughter he was creating!

On a visit to New Hampshire when Connor was less than a year old Lisa worked hard at getting Connor ready for bed so that we could all sit down to dinner and she wouldn't have to worry about him.  Not having had kids yet I couldn't truly appreciate this task!!  But shortly after Lisa put Connor in his crib he started calling, "Mommy!  Mommy! Mommy?"  After 10 minutes or so I couldn't take it anymore and asked Lisa and Paul if I could sneak upstairs to peak in on him.   I was warned, "Okay, but just don't let him see you."  Well….I will never forget crawling up along the landing and peaking into his room.  He spotted me without a doubt immediately and pulled himself up by the crib railing.  He beamed the biggest and most adoring and grateful smile I had ever seen!  It was so worth the frustration I am sure I caused Lisa who then had to eat her dinner with Connor perched on her lap!

When Sofia was born in October 2001 Connor was one of our first visitors.   He was about 2 ½ at the time.   Connor came right up to the bed where Sofia and I were and was so fascinated with her.  He was completely precious and full of questions like, "she has 2 eyes? And 2 ears?"  Mike noticed that Connor was chewing gum and soon asked him, "Hey Connor, how long have you been chewing gum?"  To which Connor promptly and proudly replied, "'bout a week!" 

Connor always had a way of making me feel very special to him.  Being one of many aunts and uncles I always took such pride when he singled me out with anything from helping him get something to pulling him on his boogie board in the ocean to doing the "hair thing" with my hair.  His hugs were genuine and sometimes strong enough to knock me over.  I loved so much his questions that were filled with curiosity.  I was often surprised that he usually knew the answers to my quizzing questions.  Connor will forever brighten my life with memories of his bright smile, bright eyes and bright mind.

                                                       Stories from Connor's Godfather...Uncle Michael 

OLD MCDONALD HAD A FARM

Auntie Tam and I stopped by the Ciesielski’s House one Saturday night during the winter.  Lisa and Paul were out and Auntie Rip was babysitting.

Connor and Jack were still awake and watching TV when we got there.  At that time a lot of the Connor’s and Jack’s toys were in the family room and the sunroom, including a variety of musical instruments; guitars, drums, tambourines, etc.

I remember it was getting close to bedtime for the boys, and Connor suggested that we sing a little “Old McDonald had a Farm”.  In my quest to be their favorite uncle, I was happy to agree to Connor’s request.  Connor, Jack, and myself each grabbed a musical instrument and started singing and playing our instruments.  We started with the everyday farm animals; cows, pigs, dogs, etc.  With every new animal our singing and instrument playing got louder and louder.  It was quickly becoming obvious that Auntie Rip’s plan of getting Connor and Jack to bed on time that night were quickly fading.

Connor decided it was time to step up the game and singing, he started naming animals from all over the world; it amazed me that he knew so many different animals.  It was no surprise to me that I did not know the sounds many of these animals made, so in the spirit of keeping the singing going and noise loud, I started to make up the noises.  Connor would look at me and let me know that my choice of noises were incorrect, but then he would repeat them at the top of his lungs and burst out laughing.

I do not remember Connor and Jack getting to bed on time that night, but the huge smile on Connor’s face that night is forever etched in my memory.

PICK UP TRUCK

 The summer after Connor got out of the hospital for leukemia, everyone spent a lot of time at my Mom and Dad’s on Cape Cod.

We were all very grateful and happy that Connor was feeling and doing better.  I know there were many days when he didn’t feel well, but he kept fighting and plugging away with a smile on his face.

One Saturday morning as everyone was getting the day started, I was getting the pick-up truck ready to hitch up to the boat, Connor was with me, helping out as he often did. 

We decided it might be fun to take the truck for a ride around the neighborhood, with Connor driving.  He sat on my lap, Connor steered and I worked the gas and brake.  We drove around the neighborhood for a while, with Connor honking the horn and both of us waving at everyone, real and imagined.  After we stopped and got out of the truck, he started walking away, he looked back at me and asked if next time we could go faster, I of course said yes, he walked away smiling.

                                                                                  Connor’s Birthday 2007

 The kid’s birthdays are always a big deal in our family and a lot of fun for all the kids.

Connor’s seventh birthday was no different, a lot of fun for everyone.  After the cake comes the opening of the presents, which is always interesting, with all the kids gathered around Connor trying to get in on the action.  Connor was always very polite and made sure to thank everyone after opening his gifts.

One of the gifts he received was a model that had to be put together; it had several pieces and multiple pages of detailed instructions on how to assemble it.

Connor decided after opening all his gifts, that this was the one he wanted to play with, but to do this, he first had to put it together,  I figured he would have to wait for everyone to leave, then have Paul help him because of the time and detail the model required. 

Instead, Connor asked Mark and me if we could help him.  Connor very purposely and methodically spread out all the parts and instructions.  He then began putting it together, step by step.  Anyone who has ever attempted to put a toy like this together quickly realizes that the instructions can be a bit confusing and frustrating.  It was amazing to watch his logic and patience as he assemble the model.  On a few occasions I thought I would offer some assistance, but in a very kind, polite and diplomatic manner, Connor let me know I was not following the instructions.

In the end, it was Mark and I who needed Connor’s help in putting the toy together.  I remember thinking to myself, Connor didn’t really need our help, but he loved and cherished spending time with his two Uncles.